i want to be a junkie for some time

i want to be depressed, as i might have been forever in some corner of my heart
i want to be depressed, and do drugs, and drink liquor, and ramble on and on and fall, and smoke cigarettes, and laugh like every thing is hilariously ridiculous
i want to be depressed, and just be so eccentric that my true eccentric self feels intimidated by me
i want to be depressed, and stay in my room and cry rivers of salty madness
i want to be depressed, and yell out the window, and when people notice - laugh at their faces
i want to be depressed, and dance to the high octane tunes of people not caring
dance so hard my boobs feel like ribbons on the skirt of a cheer leader that go spinning 360 vertical and finally hit each other like Tibetan gongs
i want to be depressed, and live in a tent i build from scratch at Sulk Station
i want to be a junkie for some time
really
i want to be junkie for some time and not care a damn about anything but my own shit;
my life
my silence
my saggy tits
my cellulite
my brain infused with thoughts of depression
my want to be a junkie...
my fucking lack of inspiration and excitement to make all of the above happen